$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
