maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
