I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I smell like Dick and happiness
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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