you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
