highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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