so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
is it fun? or sober?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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