he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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