mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
don't judge my taste in strippers
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
