let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
