areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize