I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
BRING THE BAGELS
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
