She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
smell my finger.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
