Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
