Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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