I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
