Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
