i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
