? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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