question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize