i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
