good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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