if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
