we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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