Christians are straight up FREAKS
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
