i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
