My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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