You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
