why didn't you poke me back
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
