You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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