Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
