Pappa wants mamma naked
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
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