Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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