I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
