So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Actions speak louder than pants.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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