is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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