He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize