that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
