maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
