I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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