Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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