I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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