I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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