As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
We smell like vodka and hangover
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
