It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
