I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
