You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
