If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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