I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
