yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Randomize
