I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i permit you to call me
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
