woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
