so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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