I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
