You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
