He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize