I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
