This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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