I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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