My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
