she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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