Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
